Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

I was tired of trying and failing.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

How corporate America learnt not to mess with Texas - Financial Times

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

Has anyone been spanked by their parents after becoming an adult?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

Beautiful European women were killed by inquisition but Russia was not Catholic. Is this the reason for a drastic difference explaining why Russian women are the prettiest?

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Be who you already are.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

State of Play Confirmed for 4th June, 40+ Minutes of PS5 Games - Push Square

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

I had run out of hope.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What do flat Earthers think causes the "magical downward force"?

You are like me, then.

It’s still here.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

Why do I sweat between my legs all the time, top off my legs, all way down?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

What can I do after 18 cops raided my home, without a warrant, seeking a person who didn't live there and wasn't there, and also went through all of my stuff? The person wasn't on the lease, and they didn't see him enter.

The sadness was still there.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Owen Wilson Brings Clever, Funny “Stick” in Under Par - Roger Ebert

And the sadness?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s here now, writing to you.

What are some reasons why people may fear strong men?

I was tired of fighting.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.